I Shaved for This...

What do you even call it? You matched a few weeks ago, met sometime soon after that. Have been talking daily about all sorts of random things and he's so flirty but in the way that makes you feel amazing, not in the creepy brazen way that's off-putting and weird. He insists on seeing you again and you have amazing conversation. The texting translates into real-life chemistry, which never happens! You feel lucky and optimistic and excited about where this could be going. You noticed the flirting slows down, and the texting. The self-doubt creeps in, and you comb through words you used and clothes you wore, trying to figure out what detail sent him running. Because that's what he's doing... he's running. And what was maybe-sorta-developing is now DOA, but you still feel the loss. The disappointment is potent and the cynicism starts to ooze in. It tastes like anger but feels like hurt, and you shame yourself for giving all those fucks in the first place. How dumb...

This is the worst feeling. I'm currently writing this mere moments after receiving the text message that SO many of us have received. We went on a few dates, had sex, and I was allowing myself to get excited about this person. Well... " Hey so I've also been hanging with someone else and it's hit the point where we talked about not seeing other ppl. I'm sorry if you feel led on or something,  and I know it doesn't mean anything but I really liked hanging out and talking to you. So I'm sorry." It of course varies from person to person, but the gist is the same. I've been hearing some version of this my entire dating life, and it never gets easier to stomach. In fact, I could make a strong argument as to the stomaching getting more and more difficult over time. The range of emotions is currently in full-swing.  1. Your soul drops to your pelvis and your cheeks warm and you sort of want to cry. You reread it three times and feel that familiar ...