What do you even call it?
You matched a few weeks ago, met sometime soon after that. Have been talking daily about all sorts of random things and he's so flirty but in the way that makes you feel amazing, not in the creepy brazen way that's off-putting and weird. He insists on seeing you again and you have amazing conversation. The texting translates into real-life chemistry, which never happens! You feel lucky and optimistic and excited about where this could be going.
You noticed the flirting slows down, and the texting. The self-doubt creeps in, and you comb through words you used and clothes you wore, trying to figure out what detail sent him running. Because that's what he's doing... he's running. And what was maybe-sorta-developing is now DOA, but you still feel the loss. The disappointment is potent and the cynicism starts to ooze in. It tastes like anger but feels like hurt, and you shame yourself for giving all those fucks in the first place.
How dumb of you to hope...right?
It's so easy to get pulled in by the alluring bitterness of a break-up mentality. You want to hate whatever's causing you pain, and you want to somehow find logic and reason for the misery, as if logic and reason will make any of it feel any better. It won't and often there isn't a reason. Or the reason is so incomprehensible that it hardly even matters to know it. Or worse, you want the reason so you can "fix" or "change" it. It's all bullshit and doesn't deserve that level of your attention.
Here's the deal- mourn it. Seriously, just dive in and fully mourn the passing of something that could have been wonderful and beautiful and fun. It's gone. It's dead. And whether it was a 2 week long leap-of-faith, or a few months of "Are we/aren't we", you emotionally invested, and therefore, you deserve to let yourself recover from that.
There is no stupidity in enjoying a pure, profound connection with someone. You got excited about somebody! You know how rare that is, I don't have to tell you! And it didn't work out, for whatever reason, but that doesn't mean you didn't hope or want or wish it would. Your emotions are valid, even the crappy ones, so let yourself feel them. They're what make you the deep, compassionate, loving person you love yourself for being.
So, mourn it. Feel it. Wallow. Then move on. Be better for it.
You matched a few weeks ago, met sometime soon after that. Have been talking daily about all sorts of random things and he's so flirty but in the way that makes you feel amazing, not in the creepy brazen way that's off-putting and weird. He insists on seeing you again and you have amazing conversation. The texting translates into real-life chemistry, which never happens! You feel lucky and optimistic and excited about where this could be going.
You noticed the flirting slows down, and the texting. The self-doubt creeps in, and you comb through words you used and clothes you wore, trying to figure out what detail sent him running. Because that's what he's doing... he's running. And what was maybe-sorta-developing is now DOA, but you still feel the loss. The disappointment is potent and the cynicism starts to ooze in. It tastes like anger but feels like hurt, and you shame yourself for giving all those fucks in the first place.
How dumb of you to hope...right?
It's so easy to get pulled in by the alluring bitterness of a break-up mentality. You want to hate whatever's causing you pain, and you want to somehow find logic and reason for the misery, as if logic and reason will make any of it feel any better. It won't and often there isn't a reason. Or the reason is so incomprehensible that it hardly even matters to know it. Or worse, you want the reason so you can "fix" or "change" it. It's all bullshit and doesn't deserve that level of your attention.
Here's the deal- mourn it. Seriously, just dive in and fully mourn the passing of something that could have been wonderful and beautiful and fun. It's gone. It's dead. And whether it was a 2 week long leap-of-faith, or a few months of "Are we/aren't we", you emotionally invested, and therefore, you deserve to let yourself recover from that.
There is no stupidity in enjoying a pure, profound connection with someone. You got excited about somebody! You know how rare that is, I don't have to tell you! And it didn't work out, for whatever reason, but that doesn't mean you didn't hope or want or wish it would. Your emotions are valid, even the crappy ones, so let yourself feel them. They're what make you the deep, compassionate, loving person you love yourself for being.
So, mourn it. Feel it. Wallow. Then move on. Be better for it.
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